


let's sing the stars a lullaby

by ohfiitz



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Poetry, poetry collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5895724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohfiitz/pseuds/ohfiitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of poems about Fitz/Simmons/FitzSimmons, all originally posted on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I couldn't find the courage to tell you

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to put my little Fitzsimmons poem thingies in one place, so TA-DAAA. The titles are linked to the original tumblr posts.

I loved you at sixteen  
Short-haired and wide-eyed and ready for the universe  
I loved you as you built things with your chemicals  
and I built dreams of a _you and me_  
I loved you from afar

I loved you at twenty one  
At three in the morning  
At the kitchen counter  
With two cups of tea and only one pair of hands  
I loved you five minutes later as you walked through the door  
Another man latched on your shoulders  
And on your waist and on your neck and on your lips  
_on your lips, on your lips_  
I loved you in silence

I loved you at twenty six  
Hovering bravely above the Atlantic  
I loved you with your hair dancing wildly to the north  
and your eyes settled in mine  
( _At least your eyes can stay_ , I thought)  
I loved you as you dropped lower  
lower  
lower into the blue

That night I dreamed of you  
Of how drowning sounds like a better idea  
than losing you to the sea  
That night a truth sank onto my chest:  
_I love you_

At twenty seven  
In the bottom of the ocean where all life began  
I loved you

Tonight you are here  
Short-haired and wide-eyed and done with the universe  
Tonight you spoke of leaving and returning  
And I wonder why I can’t seem to let go of the first  
Tonight I think you’re both here and _gone_  
And I love you, still.

 

—  _[I couldn't find the courage to tell you](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/107496442432/i-loved-you-at-sixteen-short-haired-and-wide-eyed)_


	2. to the boy with shaky hands and a steady, steady heart

_I am not afraid_ , you say  
and your lips quiver because it sounds  
more like an excuse  
than the truth  
  
_I am damaged_ , you say  
_I am useless and broken and changed_  
and your voice doesn’t shake, for once  
and you wish it didn’t feel so right  
  
Your hands tremble, but they try  
they try to keep the world whole  
when you aren’t;  
They try to be enough  
  
And I wish you’d stop trying  
to be something you already are  
I wish you’d see that darling,  
_you are more than the lies you keep telling yourself_  
  
You are different, but not broken  
You are afraid, but not weak  
You are steady and tempered and fractured  
in all the right places  
  
And you are enough.

 

— _[to the boy with shaky hands and a steady, steady heart](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/108417991007/i-am-not-afraid-you-say-and-your-lips-quiver)_


	3. to the kids who became

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Fitzskimmons!!!)

— _[to the kids who became](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/112968052222/to-the-kids-who-became-insp)_  


	4. —

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has a bit of mature content! It's supposed to be part of the [HYDRA AU](http://archiveofourown.org/series/350306) so, yeah.

the joke goes like this:  
you walk into a bar  
searching for some place  
your lips can sleep in tonight

some unfamiliar face who  
can get lost between your thighs;  
an empty mouth you can taste and  
fuck and forget in the morning

and instead you find him:  
sapphire eyes and the sweet, soft  
tang of someone who _feels_

and instead you find him:  
reverent hands and ruthless,  
burning breaths upon your skin.

the joke goes like this:  
you walk into a bar  
and you find him, who stays.

 

[ _[x](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/117492106707/the-joke-goes-like-this-you-walk-into-a-bar)_ ]


	5. maybe there is

I fell in love in the uncertain.  
Tucked somewhere in the ten years  
of sandwiches and science  
and soft, sacred touches.

I fell in love at the start.  
Wild curls and shy glances  
and the juvenile rivalry of  
two minds bound to converge.

I fell in love at the end.  
Among violent waves and  
untimely confessions and  
nine of the longest days of my life.

I fell in love in the uncertain.  
Everywhere and all the time  
and _always_ , always.

I always believed, there is no point to falling  
other than the eventual crash—

 

— _[maybe there is](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/119334563912/i-fell-in-love-in-the-uncertain-tucked-somewhere)_


	6. this is how you find her

 

 _one._ it’s a new and scary world, and your days are occupied by physics and blueprints and uncertainty. and then she’s there, all brilliance and bravery dusted with freckles on her skin and stars in her eyes. it’s a scary world, still, but on those nights you pretend not to watch her in the library, you realize that surely, a world where someone as bright as her exists can’t be too bad. (it lets you breathe a little more lightly.)

 _two._ she falls asleep on your couch after a grueling week and you try not to notice that she’s beautiful. you’ve always known that, because it’s always been true. but tonight the truth settles like the prelude to a growing fire and somehow, somehow you know that you were always meant to burn.

 _three._ you try to save her and she tries to save everyone else, because that’s how it always is. she jumps, you fall. you fall, and you fall, and _god_ , do you fall hard.

 _four._ you’re shouting fake arguments at each other and it is the most honest you’ve been for months. maybe years. maybe all your life. you yell about your fears and she screams out her courage, but you find each other in the middle. in all the pauses and the stops between your sentences, you meet again.

 _five._ she’s been gone for two weeks, five days, three hours, and twenty six minutes, and you are tired. there is nowhere else to look, and there is no _her_ to keep you hoping. your days are an endless loop of searching and failing, but then again, isn’t all of life that way? you search and you fail, but sometimes – in library corners or in crumbling couches, in the face of death and in desperation – sometimes you are blessed with the miracle of finding her.

 _six._ you don’t. (she finds you, wrapping her arms around your tired bones and pressing two little words to your lips: _‘I’m home.’_ )

 

— _[this is how you find her](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/124887697497/one-its-a-new-and-scary-world-and-your-days-are)_


	7. things you said you love about me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another HYDRA AU poem!

they warned me about people like you.   
boys with the sea in their eyes  
and hands that leave ripples in the wake  
of everything they touch.

your tide is swelling  
and it rolls through my tongue –  
sweet and salty and  
satisfyingly destructive.   
  
i taste it and spit out the calm.

they warned me about people like you.   
boys who love in waves and wash  
themselves ashore  
and settle beside the chaos.  
  
they warned me of people who love.

 

[prompt:[  _things you said you love about me_](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/128968601277/fitzsimmons-41-things-you-said-you-love-about)]


	8. things you said while i cried in your arms

1\. I remember that first time you cried in my arms, your amber eyes spilling with the exhaustion of finals week and all your pent-up sadness:

  * _I miss home_ , you say, and suddenly you are not a nubile young prodigy with the heart of a soldier and a hurricane soul. 
  * Suddenly you are a child, thrown into the waves of uncertainty and the burden of carrying the world on your shoulders. 
  * _I do, too_ , I say, because I, too, am tired, but if you let me, I will drown with you and we will take all of the universe upon our tempered bones. 



2\. I remember the last time you cried, the night you came back from the stars and held me like I’m the sun:

  * _I missed this_ , you breathe against my chest. _Home._  
  * _Which home_ , I chuckle, because we are both crying now, and it’s the lightest I’ve felt in months. _Earth, or the lab?_  
  * _You._  



 

[prompt: [_things you said while i cried in your arms_ and _things you said when i was crying_](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/129493683027/fs-31)]


	9. things you said while holding my hand

take my hand, we’ll go to war  
we will bleed until the devils you know  
come running, running  
running scared and overcome

let this be our rebellion  
with our hands clasped tight  
and our hearts tuned to the beat of hope  
let us wage a battle on the impossible

the stars can’t win against us  
Fate cannot take what is ours  
we are victors and survivors, children of hope  
and we will fight until destiny rewrites itself

and we remain

 

[prompt: _[things you said while holding my hand](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/130853008007/fitzsimmons-and-thirty-eight-please)_ ]


	10. —

here is a fire to warm your bones  
here is a fire to welcome you  
_feel_. feel it settle on your skin  
_breathe_. and let the cold go

hold my hand; i will be your gravity  
together, we will pull you home  
and tether your heart back to  
the steady weight of your soul 

when the world does not fit right  
when even the earth betrays you  
we will dig our own ground  
and make a home out of it 

so drag me to the stars  
take my restless heart with you  
Earth might not feel like home now, but darling,  
we have each other to come home to

 

[ _[x](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/131202625432/here-is-a-fire-to-warm-your-bones-here-is-a-fire)_ ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely ohifonlyx33 on tumblr made (and sang!) a song out of this one!! You may listen to it [here.](http://ohifonlyx33.tumblr.com/post/131476449283/im-in-too-deep-ive-never-sung-for-my-fandom)


	11. —

here’s the thing about us: we are the resistance

this love is a revolution and we are the insurgents  
our battered souls are weapons and casualties and trophies of war

and our lips will trail kisses to victory  
our touches will bring the cosmos to its knees

there is blood on our hands and too much faith in our mouths  
our hearts throb with the aching need to prevail

they say love conquers all but darling,  
ours puts conquest to shame.

 

[ _[x](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/133658754317/heres-the-thing-about-us-we-are-the-resistance)_ ]


	12. let me be your journey's end

love, you left me with a promise and those sad eyes speckled with bright blue whispers of not-returning

and if my hands weren’t tied, i would have held yours in them, and i would have let your trembling fingers mark my heart with an X

_here, here is where you belong_

_here i will wait and keep enough hope for both of us in case the cosmos claims too much space in your ribcage_

_here is where i love you, for eleven years and a million more, and more, and more_

_here, promise me, is where you will always come home_

 

_—[let me be your journey's end](http://ohfiitz.tumblr.com/post/134525887437/love-you-left-me-with-a-promise-and-those-sad)_


End file.
